


Stop the hurt

by henclajeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henclajeb/pseuds/henclajeb
Summary: Kyoutani is lowkey depressed and he tries to escape life’s hardness but he gets saved by his boyfriend.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Kyoutani Kentarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kyoutani Kentarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. happy end sounds good...

**Author's Note:**

> My depression got over me so I will write something depressed

Kentarou didn’t have any vim for today, so he decided to just lay in his bed and strangle himself in depressed thoughts. As he was willing to get out of bed, his inner voices started complaining.

  
_“You’re useless.”_

_“You really should die.”_

_“You know that you’re worthless right?”_

_“Remember when you almost got hit by a car? You should do that again. But this time stay on the road.”_  


These thoughts haunted him all and every day. He couldn’t even get away with sleeping, they would just turn into nightmares, and make him visualize every suicidal thought. So, he almost never slept, there were times when he stayed up more than a week just to get away from nightmares. He NEEDED someone who could tell him honestly that there are tough times and they will go through it, together, as partners through life and death. But he never had someone like that: his mom had way more higher expectations than Kentarou could fulfill. His dad was childish and an alcoholist at once. He went out before midnight and came home around 4 am, and then he slept until the afternoon. And when he woke up, he would go over to the boy and he won’t let him work and mind his own business. His dad would ask stupid and childish questions and he will poke Kentarou until the boy almost snaps at him or his mother calls them. And then he had to deal with school and annoying people there. There were his classmates, Oikawa, Makki, Mattsun and more people he got constantly disturbed by. He had enough. He wanted to do something about his situation, but he was too scared to do anything. He sat up in his bed and slowly went to his drawer. He pulled out a blade and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door and looked at the clock. It was after afternoon practice. He had to hurry or someone will find him.

  
_**“Smile darling don’t be sad,**_ __

_  
_

_**Stars are gonna shine tonight.”**_  


Kentarou placed the blade on his arm, pushing it in the flesh and veins, and drew it sideward. And then he repeated it. He lost a lot of blood and he got ready to die.

  
_**“Heaven Knows how I loved you.”**_

_**“Well you look like yourself** _

_**But you’re somebody else** _

_**Only it ain't on the surface.”** _  


Someone kicked the door and ran next to Kyoutani, picking some bandage and rolling it over the bleeding boy’s arms.

He felt something warm on his arm beside blood. Tears. The boy next to him was crying, no, sobbing and screaming and it hurt Kentarou’s ears but at that moment nothing could distract him from that warm feeling. Not just on his left, wounded arm, he could feel it in his chest too. And he smiled. Smiled as shiny and wide as he could, and then the warm tears started prickling at the corners of his eyes, and his savior smiled back. And his smile said everything. Iwaizumi Hajime. He saved a life. And he made Kyoutani smile. Every admirer needs someone. Everyone who admires a person needs someone. And the bond can’t be real if you force it.


	2. ...but you're not the one to get it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happy end was not invented, especially not for Kentarou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got depressed, again.

It’s been over six months after Kentarou’s attempt to commit suicide. He confessed to Iwaizumi and they are in a relationship. Kentarou is temporarily living at Iwaizumi’s house. 

Kentarou woke up at morning. His boyfriend was already up, only his cold, empty space on Kentarou's side. He felt left alone, left out. He never had friends, everyone hated him. Sometimes he felt like even Iwaizumi hates him. For example, when he was yelling with Kentarou. 

_“You’re nothing. You’re only a burden to me. I only saved you because I saw you from your window. You’re the worst. Not even your parents deserve you.”_

Sentences like those came up every week. And it only got worse.  
_**“Well, you talk like yourself,**_

_**No,** _

_**I hear someone else though,** _

_**Now you’re making nervous.”**_  
Kentarou’s depression got worse. Those thoughts came from inside AND outside. And they never stop. If this starts to flow, it will break through every gate, every stop sign and it will lead to another suicide. Self-destruction is a really wide topic, and in Kentarou’s case, it was in the depths of this topic. Deeper than the sea. Deeper than the blue around him. Deeper than his abandoned and lacerated soul. And, turns out, his savior was not Iwaizumi. The safe place never came. And it will stay like that. The happy end never came. 

So Kentarou got up, left the house without a word and went to the hospital. He climbed ‘til he reached the top. And then threw himself into the depths. Deeper than the sea. Deeper than the blue around him. Deeper than his abandoned and lacerated soul. And, turns out, his savior was Sayonara-chan, the Death itself. Not even a shoe left on the rooftop, not even a message. The happy end was not his thing. And, turns out, that bond never created itself.

**Author's Note:**

> Yk what, my girl/boyfriend temporarly cured me from depression


End file.
